Continuing the Voice for the Voiceless series, here are three new interviews with Trans kids. This time, we have two kids that have supportive families and schools, and we see how that impacts mental health and their wellbeing. The third identified as bi-gender, which is not an identity many of us are familiar with. These can give us more perspectives on queer youth and an overall clearer picture of the situation facing them today.
The first interviewee wishes to remain anonymous. She is a trans woman from the UK with a love for 3d modeling. The following has been edited and posted with the participant’s permission.
How do you identify?
Anon: As a woman
How old are you?
Anon: I’m 17
Are you transgender or cisgender?
Anon: I'm trans, mtf
How long ago did you realize you were trans? Are you out to your family or school?
Anon: I realized I was trans about 5 years ago, but obviously the feeling was there longer than I realized, I've been out to my family for about 2 years and publicly for the past year.
How’s that been? Have you been treated well?
Anon: Took my parents some time but it's fine between them, brothers don't really seem to care and nobody really pays negative attention to me in school. Unless I speak, random strangers don't really notice I'm not cis.
Where do you live?
Anon: The UK.
My condolences, but I can’t say I’m in a much better place, I’m in Florida. How’s your experience been in the UK?
Anon: The only people who are standing in my way are the government, denying me treatments because I'm too young. Look at my profile picture, do I look like I'm going to change my mind?! (Note: picture was a quite feminine selfie) Aside from the government everything else has been an improvement.
Have you had any medical intervention or are you just socially transitioned?
Anon: Just socially, definitely going privately once I have the cash not dealing with the constant time wasting free healthcare keeps doing.
Did you try to get into GIDS or just not even bother?
Anon: I tried going through CAHMS, they just said "You’re too young to medically transition'' and dropped me after wasting months of my time.
That sucks. Besides that, have you had any negative experiences being trans? Like any public harassment or bullying?
Anon: Weird looks when I speak I suppose, for the most part nobody even noticed I'm trans.
Yeah several people I’ve interviewed have said they’ve received some pretty bad harassment from family and people at school. Glad that’s not happening to you, that gives me hope.
What do you think the public should most know about trans youth? What part of the conversation do you think is being left unsaid that you really wish wasn’t?
Anon: It shouldn't really be a political matter at all in my opinion, think about the money that's been spent for politicians debating trans rights that could've been used for something that positively affects a lot of people rather than negatively affects 1%.
Couldn’t agree more, especially with housing troubles pretty much everywhere and the knock on effects of COVID, this whole trans “debate” seems like a distraction.
Anon: Exactly, our politicians have been wasting our time and making fools out of all of us.
What would you say to people who think you’re too young to transition? That you have to wait until 25?
Anon: That's just ridiculous, they want me to wait till I'm too old to really affect my appearance then laugh at me for not looking feminine enough I think. It's how transphobia operates. For a feeling I realized I had at 11 and has been tormenting me for this long, 25 just isn't realistic. It's a conservative fantasy.
To put this into perspective I’m 25 and am a teacher. The fact that they would’ve said I was too young last year when I was working full time and graduated from college is insane. It’s also based on bad science anyways.
Do you have any intentions to transition? Anything you want or don’t want?
Anon: I plan to get hrt and then maybe surgery later down the road.
Seems pretty common. I’ve noticed in a lot of these interviews that the narrative of being “rushed to transition” isn’t really true. Most kids are rather cautious and level headed at least in my opinion.
Anon: Rushed is the exact opposite of what's happened for most.
Precisely. What would you say to people who think you’re “just gay” or whatnot? How does that rhetoric and discourse make you feel?
Anon: Just tell them they're ignorant, there's so many articles, studies, research that contests their way of seeing things. If they aren't willing to look at it then they're just hateful people.
Agreed, I forgot to ask, are you gay or bi or ace? Sexuality wise how do you identify?
Anon: Bisexual.
What kind of hobbies do you have? Extracurricular activities?
Anon: I enjoy 3d modeling.
Like in blender and stuff?
Anon: I use Autodesks 3dsmax but same idea.
Cool! Do you use them for animations or anything or do you want to 3d print them or just do it just to do it?
Anon: Well I do it for school and I'm currently working on a game jam with a small team.
Oh, do you go to an arts school or just have a computer modeling program at yours?
Anon: I do games-design at college.
What do you hope to do after you graduate?
Anon: 3d modeling full time, Well, university then 3d modeling.
Have a university you’re looking to get into?
Anon: I have a few, I'm not fully looking into that until next school year though.
What’s your favorite thing to model?
Anon: I prefer doing objects and stuff rather than organic modeling.
I’ve heard that before too, it seems easier to do sharp angles than organic stuff. Organic stuff you hit that uncanny valley pretty quickly.
Do you have anything else you want to talk about before we wrap up?
Anon: No, I'm good.
Thanks for your time! I’m getting a lot of really good interviews and I’m happy about it.
The second interview comes from a 17 year old gay trans male named Clay in upstate New York. He is a Furry, fursuit maker, Jschlatt enjoyer, and deep-ocean enthusiast. The following has been edited and posted with permission from the participant.
How would you like to be referred to?
Clay: You can call me Clay!
How old are you and how do you identify?
Clay: I'm 17 and I identify as a gay trans male.
And, don’t dox yourself, but where do you live approximately
Clay: I live in upstate new york!
Are you out to your family or friends or anyone?
Clay: I'm out to everyone.
How long have you been out to everyone? Are they accepting?
Clay: I've been out since about 2019, and everyone is very accepting! I got very lucky.
That’s fantastic! Honestly doing some of these with other people it’s saddening to see how many people don’t have supportive families, but there’s a surprising amount that do, which gives me some solace.
Are you medically transitioned at all or just socially? Do you have any plans to do so or not?
Clay: I've only socially transitioned, however once I get myself healthier physically, I hope to go on testosterone.
I’m a bit more familiar with estrogen (obviously) but does T have health requirements before your doc can put you on if? Like weight stuff or other hormonal levels?
Clay: It does!! Testosterone requires you to be as healthy as you can be at the time. While weight isn't always a concern, it is for me for my personal health. I just want to be in the best shape possible before I make the decision.
I think that’s pretty responsible, in all honesty all we see in the media tends to be that “kids are being rushed into transitioning”, but from what I’ve seen kids are much more cautious about medical decisions than is said. How would you respond to the idea that you were ‘rushed to transition’ or whatnot?
Clay: I would never say that I've been rushed. My parents have always told me to take my time with large decisions and that's exactly what I'm doing! Everything has been up to me, I have never been pushed or rushed to do anything regarding my transition.
That’s good to hear!
Is there anything in the discussion of trans youth that you think is going unsaid in the current political climate? What would you wish was being talked about from your perspective?
Clay: I think that people often don't understand what dysphoria truly is, I think it would benefit them to hear it directly from a trans person! It's a spectrum, and people who don't know better often don't get that.
How would you explain dysphoria?
Clay: Dysphoria (to me at least) is a feeling of genuinely feeling trapped inside the wrong body. Feeling like I was meant to be born a different gender but there was a mistake.
Feeling like you should be someone else. I know for me at least most of my dysphoria comes from me wishing I could have the body I want, even though my own body I’m ambivalent about right now. I suppose that’s kind of what you mean when you say it’s a “spectrum” right?
Clay: Yeah! It's different for everyone from what I've seen.
Do you have any queer friends either online or in real life?
Clay: I have about 5 queer friends in real life and many more online!
How’s their experience been? How’d you meet them?
Clay: The friends I have in real life are out to their parents and their parents are overall accepting! I only have one online friend whos parents are accepting though, the rest don't have very good relationships with them.
Seems upstate New York is actually quite good about trans issues, which is surprising to me considering I’ve heard it’s the more conservative part of the state.
Clay: It's definitely more conservative in nature, but even some of the conservatives here are accepting. My adopted aunt and uncle are both conservatives, however they support me and others 100%!
Oh, are you adopted?
Clay: No I'm not. When I say adopted I mean that my uncle is my dad's best friend, and we sort of adopted him and his wife into our family.
That’s cool.
Clay: It is!
What are some of your hobbies?
Clay: I make fursuits, do art (sculpture, painting, drawing, etc.) and I'm interested in aquariums!
Here is a picture Clay posted on Reddit of their Axolotl (shared with permission):
You’re a fursuit maker? Have you been trying to start a business off of that or just doing it for fun?
Clay: Just for fun for now! I'd like to increase my skills before moving onto making a business, but I think it would also be difficult given that I'm planning on going to college once I'm out of high school.
What are you planning on majoring in?
Clay: Marine biology! My main interest is marine life, and I'm hoping to work towards my PhD in the field so that I can study it to the best of my ability and teach others!
That’s so cool! Btw have you heard of the fish biologist YouTuber AVNJ? You might like his stuff.
Clay: I haven't! I'll definitely look into him!
Here’s a link to some of his stuff.
Clay: Thank you so much!
Any specific part of marine biology you like the most?
Clay: I find it fascinating how necessities of life change as you get deeper into the ocean. I love seeing the "strange" looks of deep sea animals and learning why they look that way and what benefit it has for them.
Have you seen any of the EV nautilus live stuff? You probably would like that too.
Clay: Ooo I haven't!
Clay: Thanks!
They do livestreams of deep ocean ROVs, they’re about to go on another voyage so you can probably catch them live over the summer!
Clay: Sounds cool!!!
But yeah benthic stuff is really cool, deep sea gigantism is weird. I love the giant isopods.
Clay: SAME! They're one of my favorite marine animals.
Clay: Isopod!!!
How’d you get involved in the furry community?
Clay: I became a furry around 2019 when I first downloaded tiktok, I saw one and that was it for me.
Have you gone to any conventions or meetups?
Clay: I have! They've all been pretty fun.
Which ones? Did you go with your parents or friends?
I know Anthro New England is close.
Clay: I've been to Furcation Land, Furpocolypse, and Furrydelphia.
I just got back from Furry Weedend Atlanta myself
Clay: I'm going to Anthrocon in July.
I’ve heard that Furrydelphia is fun. Did you meet up with any online friends there? I also saw you got badge art, did you commission those or did you make them yourself?
Clay: I commissioned the badges! And yes it is very fun! I've only gone with my parents for now, but for Anthrocon I'm meeting with my two online best friends.
That’s great! I’m glad you’ve been having fun, I feel like sometimes cons aren’t great spaces for minors simply because there’s not much to do, but I’m glad they’ve been accommodating. Megaplex actually banned minors, which sucks for the local furry scene here in Florida.
You also recently appeared in a jschlatt stream (and video which hasn’t been released at the time of this writing), how'd you get involved in that community? Are they accepting?
Clay: I got involved in the Jschlatt community in 2020 through the Dream Survival Multiplayer server. The only person who I like from it anymore is him. The community is pretty nice from the people I've met.
Jschlatt seems to be the only part of that community that isn’t a bad person, and that’s hilarious considering how he acts on stream. Are you in his discord or on his Reddit? I haven’t seen the video yet but what was his reaction to your room?
Clay: I'm in both. He thought my room was "a lot". The chat reactions were hilarious.
As I expected, but I mean, it’s a great room. Would you mind if I put a picture of your axolotl in the interview?
Clay: Of course!
Have you had any troubles in online communities? Considering Dream’s debacles, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did.
Clay: Not really, the only community I have really had an issue with is the local community (NY state furries) because they were allowing neo-nazis into their group.
Oh that’s not good, I’m assuming that’s some of the Furry Raiders? I’ve had some of my own run-ins with them.
Clay: Yep.
Did they stop doing that?
Clay: I have no idea, I've left the community.
Probably for the best.
How’s the furry community treated you besides that?
Clay: Pretty good! I've so far only met nice people.
Do you have any sort of issues bothering you in your life or are you content with where you are and where you’re going?
Clay: I'm pretty content! A bit stressed with school but otherwise I am very happy!
To be fair, what teenager isn’t stressed about school?
Anything else you want to add or talk about before we wrap up?
Clay: No I don't think so!
Thank you!
Clay: No problem!
Our final interviewee is a 16 year old bi-gender individual from the UK named Phoenix. They love K-pop and are an avid enthusiast of making fan edits. The following interview has been screened by the participant for accuracy before publishing.
How old are you and how do you identify? And how would you like to be called in this interview?
Phoenix: I'm 16, and I identify as bigender. I would like to be called Phoenix.
Where do you live?
Phoenix: the UK.
How’d you describe being bi-gender to people who don’t know?
Phoenix: Bigender is as the name implies "two-gender". For me, I feel connected to womanhood, and manhood at the same time, although it's different for everyone.
How long have you felt this way?
Phoenix: Not long after I turned 14 if I remember correctly.
Are you out to anyone or not?
Phoenix: I'm out to my mum, step-mum, teachers, and friends.
Are they generally pretty accepting?
Phoenix: Yeah, and although my step mum doesn't understand it, she's fine with it anyway, as it isn't really hurting her.
Do you generally get along well with other kids at school?
Phoenix: Kinda. I am a very introverted person, but the people I've spoken to, I've got mixed feelings about.
Do they just not really get it you think?
Phoenix: I think while one is willing to learn the others seem not interested in learning.
Do they mostly ignore you or is there any bullying going on?
Phoenix: There is some bullying, but they ignore me most days.
Has the administration done much about incidents of bullying?
Phoenix: They have told my class specifically what they did wrong, but it didn't really do anything.
So just a slap on the wrist basically?
Phoenix: Basically, yeah.
That sucks, I’ve heard a lot of schools really don’t take this stuff seriously.
Outside of school how are you treated? Any issues in public or private?
Phoenix: It isn't really any better. There are quite a few issues regarding my trans identity at home.
You said your mom and step-mom are accepting, but I take it other family members are not?
Phoenix: No they're not.
My younger sister is ambivalent on it but my older sister is borderline transphobic and my dad is VERY transphobic.
I’m sorry to hear that, do you fight with them a lot?
Phoenix: I'm scared to fight with my dad, but I had a fight with my older sister regarding it once.
What happened there?
Phoenix: Well, she told me I was too young, that's a classic, and for some reason compared me coming out, to her telling my dad she wants to move out.
That’s kinda strange. What exactly was she comparing? That it was just as brave as her to say she wanted to move out to you coming out?
Phoenix: She said that she's scared to tell my dad about it in case he shouts, right after I said I was scared in case he kicks me out.
That’s kinda terrible.
Have you had any problems with the general public? Like going out to the store or whatnot?
Phoenix: Eh, not really. I have heavy social anxiety, so I don't talk to the public much.
What’s been your opinion on recent UK discourse on trans and gender nonconforming kids?
Phoenix: Jeeze, where to start. Well first, the plan to ban gender identity talk in school...
Ha, yeah no, that won't stop trans and GNC kids being trans and GNC. Those things are innate.
But what it will do, will make trans and GNC kids feel alone, and different, and will make them question themselves, and they'll start to feel like they're going crazy... It's a sad thing to think about.
What do you think that should be said in the current discussion that isn’t being said? What do you wish people were talking about?
Phoenix: I wish more people were talking about how they found out they were trans, and when they did.
Many people think the internet, or family makes you trans but that isn't the case. And plenty of trans people can prove it.
How’d you find out you were bi-gender?
Phoenix: Well, I always wanted to get away from typically "female things". Make up, dresses, the color pink ect. But at the same time I also still felt quite female. However I always had a weird feeling when someone called me a girl over and over... Got annoying, uncomfortable, and I hated it. Mind you, I didn't even know trans people existed then.
Then when I was 14, I got a phone, and I started googling. I didn't feel fully female, and I wanted a way to express that. I found the term demi-girl.
That label fit well for a while, but eventually I felt like something was missing. I felt envy when I saw the trans guy at my new school. I felt like he was what I wanted... But I was still partly female... I wondered if I could be both, but I also felt crazy. You can't be both surely? Well, I was on tiktok one day, and I saw the label bigender. It fit.
I tried calling myself a guy, and getting my friends to call me one.... It felt nice...
So I kept the label.
So it’s mostly been an exploration thing wherein the internet just gave you some answers but didn’t really influence or turn you trans?
Phoenix: All it did was help me label myself. Without it I would've been stuck feeling out of place and feeling envy I didn't understand.
Have you gotten any medical interventions or plan to have any in the future? Or just socially adapting to your gender identity?
Phoenix: Well, right now I'm just socially adapting. Change of name, pronouns, clothes, hair, etc.
Although I do plan on taking micro doses of testosterone to look a bit more androgynous, but that's only a maybe.
Probably no surgical intervention then?
Phoenix: No not really. I don't feel like that's the best option for me to be honest.
Do you have any friends that are also queer or gender nonconforming online or in real life?
Phoenix: I had one who came out as a trans guy when we were 10, although he dropped me after we left primary.
And my online friends... Well, one is non-binary, but the rest are just allies.
Have those allies been good with supporting you or do they leave something to be desired?
Phoenix: They are actually good. They use my prefered name, pronouns, and we even joke about fictional characters being queer sometimes. And when I tell them about any issues regarding hate, they tell me not to worry and that I'm perfect.
Sounds like some good friends. How’d you meet them?
Phoenix: Discord. I joined a few kpop related servers, and I made friends with them.
Is K-pop one of your hobbies?
Phoenix: Yup. It's the only music I like really.
Do you have any other hobbies?
Phoenix: I like making edits, but that's really something I do sometimes.
Like kpop edits?
Phoenix: Yup.
How’s that community treated you in general?
Phoenix: Pretty good. I have met one toxic person, but overall the community is accepting.
Has that helped you express yourself and your identity?
Phoenix: It's helped a bit, yeah, especially because a few groups are open allies, which is nice.
Anything else you want to talk about before we wrap up?
Phoenix: Nope, that's it!
Thanks for your time!
Phoenix: No problem!
From these interviews, we can glean more insights into the lives and struggles of queer youth. Bullying shows up again here. It’s clear that is one of the largest issues facing trans youth today. Complement administration is mostly to blame again, which speaks to the larger issue of incompetently run schools.
Family and social support also play a huge role in these interviews. Kids with supportive friends and families appear to go through less struggle and prejudice. Even if parents have lukewarm reactions to their child’s identity, at least having some accepting friends helps mental health. It is easy to see the night and day difference better social climates have on a child’s life.
Finally, online communities. Though these stories show a somewhat warped view of online communities as all interviewees were recruited online, they still portray a certain safe space for trans youth to either escape their parents or indulge in new interests. Problems with individuals/groups infiltrating spaces, including the alt-right group the ‘Furry Raiders’, mean these communities are not without fault. Better safeguards and education are needed to protect kids while still allowing them a place to call their own.